4 Essential Relationship Elements of a Lasting Love
When we’re young, we’re taught how to share and play well with others. Somehow as adults, these early lessons don’t always translate into building and maintaining loving relationships.
But, it’s never too late to learn new life skills, and creating healthy relationships is one of the best skills you can have. The following are the essential relationship elements of a lasting love. If you can master these, you will set yourself up to experience a wonderful relationship for the rest of your life.
Create Trust and Mutual Respect
Even the most loving of relationships is going to be put to the test every once in a while. All couples experience ups and downs and the stress of every day life. The key is to not take that out on each other.
Create a safe environment in your relationship where each of you can speak honestly and freely. Never interrupt or yell or belittle the other person. Should things get too heated, step back, and wait until things cool off.
Learn How to Communicate the “Root Issue”
Unfortunately a lot of arguments tend to focus on surface level content (he said, she said, chores around the house, parenting issues, finances, etc) and rarely get to the root issues, which is usually a feeling. For example, a couple that fights a lot about chores around the house. If that is all that gets the focus, the problem could be “solved” but not really. Someone could still be feeling overwhelmed even though their partner is now taking out the trash more often. This could then lead to resentment because the partner is helping out more now but it hasn’t helped the first person feel better. Getting to the root of the issues in a relationship is a must.
Make Time for Each Other
It’s far too easy to get busy and neglect the relationship. Many couples get to the point where they become more like roommates than a romantic couple. Don’t allow this to happen. Be sure to make time each week to check in with each other and reconnect.
Be Responsible for Your Feelings
No one can “fix us” or make us all better. We must heal ourselves from old wounds and scars (and we all have those!). Our partners should be there to support us in becoming whole, but ultimately it is our responsibility to heal, not theirs.
These guidelines can help you and your love stay a positive force in each other’s lives. But let’s face it, sometimes life can come at us and before we know it, the relationship is on the rocks. At times like these, it can be very helpful to speak with a couple’s therapist who can guide you through the rough patch and get you reconnected. I’m passionate about helping couples learn how to communicate with each other their root issues, empathize with each other and learn how to connect more often. If you feel like your relationship would benefit from this, please reach out. I’d love to help!